Introduction to a Young Woman with Cancer.

Stomachs are over rated. You can live without one and eventually still enjoy all your favourite foods. You have an excuse to eat 6-8 times a day and doctors will encourage you to get in those calories anyway you can. Even if it's eating nothing but ice cream. Pretty sweet, hey.
I've come to this conclusion because I had most of my stomach removed. A lovely consequence of stomach cancer.
It's quite the thing to hear: "you have stomach cancer". I imagine it's difficult for anyone to hear but it's difficult and mind boggling to hear it at the age of 26. Stomach cancer is notorious for targeting older people. More males than females and more Asians than Caucasians. On top of that, I always considered myself pretty healthy. But we know our little friend cancer doesn't always care how healthy you are. Still. It was shocking. My tumour was creeping up into my oesophagus making it difficult for food and even fluids to pass down and I spent months putting up with the discomfort and pain of food sticking. It didn't help that I was very pregnant and it was assumed by everyone, including me, this was pregnancy related. Nope. It very much was not.

Now I think it's hard to grasp just how serious a situation is when you are not in any way expecting the situation to be that bad. Oh, the radiologist is overreacting when he grabbed my shoulders and gave them a shake."This could be very serious and we need to get you in for an endoscopy right away!" Over reacting. The sweet Dr who did the endoscopy having to wake me up because they needed to switch to a paediatric camera. Then not letting me leave the hospital and scheduling a CT scan. Ah, everyone is over reacting. I'm sure I'm fine! It wasn't until that sweet Dr sat down, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Honey, we found a mass. It's angry and bleeds very easily. Although the biopsies haven't come back yet, I can tell you- you have stomach cancer." Okay, maybe they aren't over reacting. That's when I got teary eyed and the weight of just how serious this situation was settled on my shoulders. So I hugged my husband, phoned my mom, and went home to kiss my 3 children. And I cried all weekend.

Fast forward a bit. After installing a handy port under my collar bone, I went on to do 2 rounds of intense chemotherapy only to become horribly dehydrated because I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. So, we put in a stent. A lovely balloon type of thing, surrounded by metal and wire, to inflate and open up my oesophagus so I could eat. I was actually very excited about this. Not a big deal- just another little sleepy endoscopy to put it in. And to not have to keep spitting every couple of minutes sounded amazing. But unfortunately the pain and discomfort from that was overwhelming. Not too mention throwing up dried blood multiple times a day was mentally discerning. So no more chemo and on to surgery I went! The removal of over half of my stomach and alot of my oesophagus (I keep forgetting to ask how much). It was with that I was able to get the pathology a few weeks later. To our dismay we were told an eight centimetre tumour was removed. Stage 3, T-4, and high grade. 26/40 lymph nodes had cancer. This was the second to worst news we could of received, That being said there was a couple rays of sunlight! My surgeon was able to get clear margins (my oncologist cannot stress the importance of this enough) and as far as we could see, no mets, There was, however, a silly little lymph node in my neck swelling up with cancer, but it has since disappeared with the latest rounds of chemo.

So that brings us to today. So far it has been quite the journey from last July to now. I've gone through things I never imagined I would have to and still have lots ahead of me. I'm adjusting to a new body after a major surgery. I'm dealing with the gross effects of chemotherapy while trying to raise my 3 children. I'm living with the fact that I only have a 20% chance of living past the next 5 years. At 26 years old, with 3 beautiful, amazing children, and their father who I love so much, I'll admit it's a very difficult thing to acknowledge. It pisses me off and makes me sad, especially for my family. There's so much I want to do and see and most importantly, I want to continue on my journey as a mother. There's nothing I want more. So it's very sobering to know I may not make it past 33. BUT! 20% is not 0%. I still very well may walk away from this. And for today, I'm here. I'm alive and I feel great, even despite the chemo. It helps I have an excellent oncologist, Aaron, who is so supportive, the best of friends anyone could ask for, and some wonderful family around me. Right now, I feel content.

But hearing the words, you have cancer, makes you want to vomit. It upsets your stomach and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Your palms get all sweaty and the first thing you think is, am I going to die? Because if you aren't that familiar with cancer (like myself) you immediately associate cancer with death. It's not the case of course, though. Many people survive this disease. And we are advancing every year with ways to treat cancer and even cure some cancers. Unfortunately stomach cancer specifically is particularly aggressive and sneaky. It's often diagnosed in the later stages because people don't think much of some of the very subtle symptoms. Heartburn, indigestion, feeling bloated or crampy... You usually don't experience these things and think, Oh no! I might have stomach cancer! If it wasn't for where my tumour was, causing me so many issues with food and fluids, I might not have been to the Dr for a very long time. So I want to raise awareness about stomach cancer. I want more and more people who are unfortunate enough to end up with this shitty disease to be able to catch it earlier. On top of raising awareness, I want to help people live their best with cancer. To see the bright sides (they are there!) and remain hopeful. But to also embrace the days we don't feel so positive. To know it's okay to scream and cry and swear. But to never give up. I hope by starting this blog people going through similar situations will find comfort in knowing they aren't alone. Especially younger adults.